I've gone back in time
To a time of youth and innocence
To feel what's in my body today
The energy
The vibrance
The pressure of excitement in my chest
Today I look forward to tomorrow
When I can look into your eyes
Where I can mirror my desire, longing, urgency
When I can get lost in your lips
Where your mouth has become my home
My moment of solace
My escape
My new life
I could never tell
You wouldn't believe
How could you?
I don't think you know what loneliness looks like
It's never knocked on your door
It's never loved you for years
I know him well
More than anyone ever
He's been a constant friend
A confidant
A teacher
But much much more
He's my greatest love
My most efficient lover
The one that does everything right
Ensuring I never leave him
I don't want another
No one sees me
I don't notice them
There's only him
Grabbing me with his cold hands
Shaking me
Taking me
In soft night whispers
Bringing me to tears
Wiping them with frigid sensuality
And I know only him
I've tried to turn my back on him
To walk away
To run
To hide
But he's always there
5 Steps behind me
Coming back to collect me
Bringing me back
To our same place
The ones we forged memories in
There he works overtime
With more fervor than before
To keep me there
In his embrace
Cold
Dry
Alone
But always accompanied
By loneliness
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