Drowning

I feel as if my grip is slipping
I’m trying to hold on but the current is pulling harder
Bringing me me down
At first it was gradual
So slow
Lethargic almost
I didn’t even feel my sleep begin to slide
Then as if it was nothing the seat was yanked from underneath me
And I slipped off
One minute I was sitting there in light conversation
Then next I’m holding on for dear life
And it’s taking me
I’m fighting inside
I’m crying
Asking God not to do this
He knows better
I know that
It will be done as he meant
But I feel like this is death
Please don’t do this
Don’t do this to me
The warmth that envelopes me
It’s also the venom that poisons a part of my heart
I’m helpless because I don’t know how to fight
I’ve accepted a fate I rebel against
The innocent sea
Full of sharks but so pristine
It will be my death in the end
As I drowned in this blue lagoon
I know I’ll drift to the bottom
And then open my eyes looking up
In the water my tears won’t be noticed
In the silence, I won’t be able to scream
I’ll still be here
Dragging the dead part of me.