Indigestion

No one knows

Yet most have experienced it

I don't know if mine is more intense than others

It's an awake nightmare

As I fight to speak again

I can't and won't

But I most walk as if nothing's wrong

Those who have been there have forgotten

Because it's easier to advise

I'm beginning to hate them

Because I hurt so

The hot burning tears that drip down my throat

Swallowed so no one would see them

Hungry

The pent up desire

that will not be sated

I wonder if you feel any of it

Do you know what it's like to want you and not have you?

To touch you and not possess you

To see your beautiful skin

And not be able to bite it as I want

You have no idea what your smell does to me

How it ties up my senses

Annihilates my common sense

Takes my reason

Makes me into an animal

I want to sniff you

To be able to track you

I want to devour your skin

Because I know underneath hides the sweetest treat

I want to pounce

Attack

Toy with you

Sweetly torture you

Until you have to release the She-Wolf

So that she can end your pain.

Cyclic

I lied to you
Don't be angry
I did not know I wanted it this way
So many years of hiding
Under the umbrella of naivete
Under the glare of the world
I stifled myself
My body
The deep roots of my soul
I ignored the cries for help
I inflicted pain
Cruelly tortured
Myself
So used to this pain
Don't want it any other way
Don't know any other way
Rough
Brutal
Without mercy
Take me
Possess me
Bring me home
Tomorrow it will begin again.

Death by fire

It's about 5 degrees outside
I feel the chill on my skin
It's almost painful
It's frigid, desolate
It's also not the reason I tremble
I shake because of the heat war taking place in my blood
Inside my skin is about 120
The hot wind factor makes it feel 150
It's trapped heat
Spreading through my body
A five alarm fire
Desperately searching for way out
At risk of burning my body to the ground
How can I be burning inside while the cold threatens to freeze me to death?
I want to drop on the floor
To roll and see if it's extiguinshes
It doesn't help
The fire wants to be subdued
Conquered
Liberated
Subjugated
It wants to feel the power of the fireman
Before it's put out
It wants to die the good death
Dominated
Before it's doused for the time being.

Burning soul

The innocent will be the ones that kill you
Because they don’t know any better
Because their thinking is so pure
Even when he tries a hand at deviousness
He continues through life perplexed
While I burn in the hell he’s put me in
Trapped in my skin deep jail cell

The walls were the first to catch fire
It quickly spread
From my legs to my mid section to my chest to my arms
I want to cry but who would hear
Even a drop of water would seem like a stream now

I curse him
I curse me

The fire violates every inch of me
I feel the agony
But I can’t
Won’t
Let myself die with dignity
This fire doesn’t deserve that

It should be hosed roughly
Intensely
It deserves the cries of pain
Of surrender
Until I’m lifeless
With no voice
No spirit
Reduced to ashes
Still
Just glowing

In the fall

We live in a world of dryness, a desert of endless vastitude. When a day like today comes, we rejoice, at least those of us who understand. Rain is life. It’s pure ritual renews the world. The darknening of the skies, the chill in the air, the tentative sprinkles, the steady fall, and the downpour. It’s constant rhythm in an ageless dance, sway of droplets that melt in the appreciative ground. It welcomes the overwhelming love that comes from above. It’s engulfed in the mystic feeling as if sounds of a sweet flute soaked your head and body in it’s delicious, calming, elevating effect.

Reincarnation

I got a reason

Vanity

There are those who will deny me this moment
But as I stand in front of the mirror I can help but bask in all of this.

It’s the sheer sexy and sensuality of me
I feel like balmy air on a beautiful day at the beach
I can feel the sound of the waves
As the rhythmic movement washes over me in hypnotizing fashion.

I feel like music that makes you sway
Gently taking over your being
It’s an aged, soft, but forceful feeling
Like fine wine exploding in your tongue making your eyes water.

My arms reach for the ceiling in a port de bras
I tilt my head to the left and open my hands wide
The sun caressing my fingers in a delicious sting
Just like that I bring my head back
Giving my entire face to the sun
Letting it bathe my whole upper body
I smile still with my eyes closed
Feeling the peace and calming love of nature
I breathe it in….and out
I bring my hands down and touch my arms
I revel in my own softness
My face, my eyelids
I feel wholesome and united
All my body parts have melded into one
All layers flattened in a masterpiece of energy
So much love inside me threatens to spill over
And I thank god for this moment
For making me
For letting me love myself
I open my eyes and see it all as it should
The thighs ample but beautiful
The stomach not flat but waist amazingly small
The perfect size chest
I want to dance using it all
But sigh…alas; it’s time to go to work