I lied to you
Don't be angry
I did not know I wanted it this way
So many years of hiding
Under the umbrella of naivete
Under the glare of the world
I stifled myself
My body
The deep roots of my soul
I ignored the cries for help
I inflicted pain
Cruelly tortured
Myself
So used to this pain
Don't want it any other way
Don't know any other way
Rough
Brutal
Without mercy
Take me
Possess me
Bring me home
Tomorrow it will begin again.
Monday, January 24, 2011
It's about 5 degrees outside
I feel the chill on my skin
It's almost painful
It's frigid, desolate
It's also not the reason I tremble
I shake because of the heat war taking place in my blood
Inside my skin is about 120
The hot wind factor makes it feel 150
It's trapped heat
Spreading through my body
A five alarm fire
Desperately searching for way out
At risk of burning my body to the ground
How can I be burning inside while the cold threatens to freeze me to death?
I want to drop on the floor
To roll and see if it's extiguinshes
It doesn't help
The fire wants to be subdued
Conquered
Liberated
Subjugated
It wants to feel the power of the fireman
Before it's put out
It wants to die the good death
Dominated
Before it's doused for the time being.
I feel the chill on my skin
It's almost painful
It's frigid, desolate
It's also not the reason I tremble
I shake because of the heat war taking place in my blood
Inside my skin is about 120
The hot wind factor makes it feel 150
It's trapped heat
Spreading through my body
A five alarm fire
Desperately searching for way out
At risk of burning my body to the ground
How can I be burning inside while the cold threatens to freeze me to death?
I want to drop on the floor
To roll and see if it's extiguinshes
It doesn't help
The fire wants to be subdued
Conquered
Liberated
Subjugated
It wants to feel the power of the fireman
Before it's put out
It wants to die the good death
Dominated
Before it's doused for the time being.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The innocent will be the ones that kill you
Because they don’t know any better
Because their thinking is so pure
Even when he tries a hand at deviousness
He continues through life perplexed
While I burn in the hell he’s put me in
Trapped in my skin deep jail cell
The walls were the first to catch fire
It quickly spread
From my legs to my mid section to my chest to my arms
I want to cry but who would hear
Even a drop of water would seem like a stream now
I curse him
I curse me
The fire violates every inch of me
I feel the agony
But I can’t
Won’t
Let myself die with dignity
This fire doesn’t deserve that
It should be hosed roughly
Intensely
It deserves the cries of pain
Of surrender
Until I’m lifeless
With no voice
No spirit
Reduced to ashes
Still
Just glowing
Because they don’t know any better
Because their thinking is so pure
Even when he tries a hand at deviousness
He continues through life perplexed
While I burn in the hell he’s put me in
Trapped in my skin deep jail cell
The walls were the first to catch fire
It quickly spread
From my legs to my mid section to my chest to my arms
I want to cry but who would hear
Even a drop of water would seem like a stream now
I curse him
I curse me
The fire violates every inch of me
I feel the agony
But I can’t
Won’t
Let myself die with dignity
This fire doesn’t deserve that
It should be hosed roughly
Intensely
It deserves the cries of pain
Of surrender
Until I’m lifeless
With no voice
No spirit
Reduced to ashes
Still
Just glowing
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